


Rooftop Conversation

by Hyakkei



Category: Rise of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles (Cartoon 2018)
Genre: Author Is Sleep Deprived, Awkward Conversations, Emotional Hurt, Hugs, Hurt Leonardo (TMNT), I'm just hurting man, Late Night Conversations, Leonardo needs love but not the love he wants from Raph, Light Angst, M/M, Mild Hurt/Comfort, Raphael handles things the best he can, Rooftop Conversations, Sibling Incest, Turtlecest (TMNT), Unrequited Love, Winter
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-06
Updated: 2020-09-06
Packaged: 2021-03-06 19:01:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,251
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26323825
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hyakkei/pseuds/Hyakkei
Summary: They needed to have this conversation, Leonardo knew it, but he also knew he was a coward.
Relationships: Leonardo/Raphael (TMNT)
Comments: 7
Kudos: 60





	Rooftop Conversation

**Author's Note:**

> I haven't slept in 25 hours and honestly, it's not that much but I also wrote this in less than an hour so, sorry for any mistake. Enjoy!

New York was unforgiving during the winter, and mutants were no exception. Still, it was nothing that a little seasonal clothing and warm coats couldn't fix, allowing them to enjoy the surface even in the daytime because of how covered they were. It was a good season, and Leonardo's favorite. 

Aside from the snow and the dozens of hours of fun he could have in the park near the lair, and even though he was more susceptible to the change in temperature, he was simply attracted to watching the snow falling from as high as he could. It was his thing, something he had been doing every winter since his father had allowed them to go to the surface and they had seen the snow for the first time in their lives. 

At first it was all of them, then it was them with April, then it was just him spending hours on some rooftop watching the snow. And recently, it was just him and his older brother, Raphael, but Leonardo knew that soon it would be just him and the snow again. 

"Space for one more?" he heard behind his back, Leonardo knew it was his older brother, so without looking at him he just nodded, moving his odachi to his left side and waiting for him to sit next to him on that roof of one of the thousands of buildings in their city. 

Although his gaze was still on the snow, his mind was on the sudden warmth of Raphael against Leonardo, who said nothing about the closeness of the two, and Raphael had remained silent. 

They had to talk, something he knew very well, but he also knew that both were too lost to know where to start, with the cold air of the night filling their lungs to come out like smoke from their mouths trying to fill the void of silence between them and failing miserably to do so.

Sighing, seeing the smoke leave his mouth once more, Leonardo closed his eyes, trying to make himself small and create a little more heat inside his jacket pockets, where his hands were hiding. He didn't dare open his eyes, look up and see his brother's face, but he could say something, maybe a bad joke that would make him leave and postpone once again their little and meaningless conversation, or simply ask him to leave. 

Leonardo could have done any of those things, but in the end his options had been taken away when Raphael, always the brave leader and big brother, spoke up, taking the initiative:

"So... I think it's obvious that we need to talk, right?" Leonardo opens his eyes, he can see out of the corner of his eye how his brother was looking at him, so as the coward he was he kept his eyes on the bottom of the alley between their building and the one next to it, playing with his feet hanging off the edge. 

"Yes... I think so" he answers, turning his eyes even more, with his eyes on the billboard in the distance that announced a new film about four mystical kung-fu master pandas, "I'm sorry I told you that during the mission" he continues, letting out a sigh and smiling slightly, his gaze returns to his feet, "I guess I was a little scared to see you like that, and then you didn't answer me, and boom! I was letting my guts out for you to hear" Leonardo laughs slightly, which was more like a little breath leaving his mouth in a sad smile. 

"Hey, it's okay Leo" is what Raphael replies, to stop for a few moments before continuing, thinking about how to go on, "I also want to apologize, I shouldn't have avoided you like that all this week. I was afraid of what you had said to me, of the weight it had on us" Leonardo can hear him swallowing, a sign of his nerves and simply cannot think more than 'huh, same' because this whole situation was killing him inside. 

"I don't blame you, it's not everyday that your brother confesses to you that he is in love with you while he is in a panic because you seem to be unresponsive" Leonardo tries to joke a little, it was a bad time but he didn't know what else to do. 

And, for the first time in the twenty minutes they've been there together, Leonardo decides to look at his brother and he's smiling, it's a little sting in the heart that hurts horribly because Raphael is only there, sitting next to him looking at the snow, struggling just like him to simply talk, to have a very necessary conversation about this whole absurd situation caused by his stupidity and foolish fears. 

There's hopelessness in his heart. The beauty of the snow can do nothing to cheer him up, and maybe his favorite thing in the world would be ruined forever, because from that moment on, it would be marked by the memory of him and Raphael on that roof, shoulder to shoulder, trying to talk and a rejection at the end. And for the next few winters he would kill himself thinking of the thousands and one better way to respond, to handle the situation, to be more assertive, but the past was already carved in stone, there was nothing to change it, just as Raphael had his heart in his hands and he could do nothing to get it back and save it from breaking into hundreds of pieces. 

Also, Leonardo was scared. He knew what the course of things would be, and well, they were only going to get worse. Raphael had said nothing for a few moments; Leonardo could feel the tears forming slowly in his eyes, threatening to simply fall, leaving his eyes crystallized and his vision blurred. 

Apparently his brother had noticed this because his expression had changed from an indecipherable smile with polite eyes to one of concern. 

"Leo-"

"Can we leave this for another moment, please?" Leonardo hates the feeling of weakness, but there he was, begging his brother on the brink of tears. "It's so hard to do this when you're down, you know? I can't do this, not today. I won't be able to handle this conversation, Raph" he said, with his voice cracking. 

"Yeah, don't worry, Leo," Raphael responded, hugging him, reaching out to him to provide warmth and support, even though Leonardo didn't deserve anything from him, not after all. Still, aside from being a coward, Leonardo was greedy, so much that instead of pushing his brother away he ended up hugging him back, hiding his face, and his shame, as much as possible in Raphael's chest. "It's okay, we can try again later when you're feeling better."

Trying again sounded like a nightmare, he would never be able to handle the rejection. But perhaps worse than that, was that his brother was being so good to him when he should have been treating him like the trash he was, he was hugging him when Raphael had to get as far away from him as possible. 

"I love you, Raph," Leonardo said, barely a sigh that had the weight of years and years of sick, romantic love, but Raphael had managed to listen to him, and by hugging him harder, he responded, even though in his words there was nothing but brotherly love for Leonardo:

"I love you too, Leo." 

**Author's Note:**

> Don't forget to leave some kudos and comments, those help a lot and I'll be around a little bc ROTTMNT needs more sad and fluffy tcest fics


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